"I don't have a single American friend, I don't understand them."

Frank, Ray, Dennis, Cherrie, Jerry, Cliff, Fern, Reggie, Jim, Sue, Tish, Berecia, Marypat, Will, Sandra, Bernadette, Tim, Laura, Charlie, Linda, Glenn, Cathy, Carolyn, Big John, Kerry, Karen, Diane, Jason, Delvin, Robin, Louise, Steve, Ed, Stephan, Joe, Rob, Ann, Granville, Paul. Kathy, Debbie, Midge, Menyon, Shannon, Ajavon, Charles, Joel, Thud, Mae, Billy, Jayne, Margaret, Liz, Rudy, Carmen, Alex etc.

The words of Tamerlan Tsarnaev, the deceased older sibling of the Boston terrorist duo brought to mind how lonely the world can be for many people. Whether loneliness exists as a state of mind or as a true reality, loneliness has the ability to inflict real pain and disturbing thoughts in the minds of those who may be suffering from it. I am concerned that Tamerlan’s statement may have planted a seed in the minds of some of our new immigrants, as well as those waiting their turn to make their entry into this country. Is the perception going to be that America is an unfriendly place to live?

During my earliest days in America, I was tucked away in a $300 a month slum apartment in the toughest neighborhood of Albany, New York. I had moved there to work a job paying $5.25 per hour cleaning movie theaters after closing time. At that point in my life, nothing was scripted. Nigeria was experiencing its worst government in history so going back home was not an option. My plans to convert my visitor's visa into a student visa and attend school had met a dead end. My neighbors in Albany were drug dealers, drug users and folks with mental health problems who depended on stipends from the government that never took them to the end of the month. Life was very different from my old neighborhood in Nigeria: everyone knew my name and at least one of my six siblings was always around. Life was different from the life I had on campus at the University of Uyo, where one lived to the fullest without concrete responsibilities. The America I knew then was a no man’s land. I thought I was the loneliest man on earth. I did not have friends in America. The occasional knocks on my door were from neighbors who wanted to sell junk for drug money or wanted $ 5 in exchange for sex. Life in America was miserable for me. I kept to myself; I did not have the courage to go out and mingle where I would find likeminded people for the fear of getting in trouble.

My loneliness started to wane once I mustered up the courage to go out to the local Barnes and Noble to drink some cranberry juice and read a few books and attend church. I finally started to accept invitations from church members to have dinners in their homes, where I would sit and listen to their stories, understanding every other word and bursting out in laughter at jokes well after the punch line was delivered due to cultural processing. I exchanged my initial fear for open-mindedness and I found the America that I belonged to. Again, do not mistake the crux of this article to be an excuse for individuals who chose to take the lives of innocent people, whatever the cause, because what Tamerlan Tsarnaev and his younger brother did is inexcusable. I simply want to explore the possibility that perhaps his statement might negatively influence the minds of many immigrants regarding the America that I have come to know and love.

One Sunday morning during his sermon, Minister Gilbert Jimenez of the East End Church of Christ asked his parishioners to take out a piece of paper and a pen and write the following: "I thank God for all remembrance of you,...". Then he asked his parishioners to fill the remainder of that statement with as many names as possible. Afterwards, he said, "for somebody who might pick up that piece of paper to read, on the surface it looks like a list of names but to you, it is not just a list. You can tell a story for every name you put on that piece of paper.” The first paragraph of this article is a very incomplete list of the wonderful Americans who have shown me true love and friendship, Americans who have made my transition and my stay in this country a beautiful experience. I want to thank them for giving me the impression that Americans are the friendliest people on earth.

Finally I want to dedicate this article to all the victims of the Boston marathon terrorist act. Please celebrate the memory of the dead and the wounds of the survivors by being a friend to someone who might be lonely around you.