If you are an avid North Fork Patch reader, you probably are familiar with our daily morning column, “5 Things You Need To Know Today.” Or perhaps you’ve enjoyed a few of our “100 Coolest Things To Do” pieces over the past few weeks.
And there are always plenty of things to do on the North Fork, but here are five things you can’t do today:
1. Complain about the weather: Yes, it’s been cold for too long and hot too soon, but if you’ve been outside at all on Thursday, we really hope you’ve decided to play hooky.
2. Drive directly to Shelter Island: Unless you and your car have some sort of Christ-like powers.
3. Eat at TGIFridays: One word — Riverhead.
4. Establish a solid wireless internet connection anywhere in Mattituck: Maybe this is simply because the editor of this website lives in Mattituck and someone thinks this is really funny. Or maybe Mattituck’s atmosphere is constantly swirling in solar flares.
5. Drive by the and not want to stop in: This is the most charming neighborhood dive bar on the North Fork. You can’t not stop in once in a while and schmooze with the locals.