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Health & Fitness

Don't Call Me 'Frog-Face'!

My mother used to say, “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names can never hurt me.” Sorry, mom, but as a first grader crying on the playground, I knew differently: Words can hurt.

But, as a kid or a parent, what can you do?   “Don’t call me Frog-Face,” says four- year-old Lily to her fellow pre-schooler. Her mother has told her to speak up for herself and not play with children who aren’t nice. Bullying prevention in pre-school is pretty basic, like pulling out weeds from the garden in April, before the roots take hold. 

Bullying starts out with name-calling, Lily’s mom says. At pre-school it’s not okay to use words like “stupid,” that put people down.  Children instinctively get it, and stick up for themselves if big people support them in doing so.  

So where does bullying come from?  Lily’s mom says she thinks it starts at home, with parents calling each other names, or using sarcasm to hurt each other. Children listening to the harsh speech of parents copy what they hear.  On the bus and playground, they try out the power of negative speech.   

Bullying is where what’s wrong at home shows up.  What makes a child scapegoat another child?  The need to feel that one is better than someone else is rooted in insecurity—but what makes some insecure people victims and other insecure people bullies?   Great question, right?  What do you think?  

Susan Dingle LCSW CASAC is a therapist on the North Fork providing counseling for tweens, adolescents and adults. She is currently accepting new clients, and can be reached at 631/734-8658.  

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