COMPASSION AT THE COUNTER

Saturday morning King Kullen was so crowded I did half my shopping while waiting on the check-out line, running back and forth for things I forgot, because it was going to be a while on that line.  When it was finally my turn, the checkout person (who I’ve known for years) said the people in front of me were annoyed with her because a container of food dropped when she reached for one of their items piled on top of it.  Like it’s her fault their food container spilled!  She wished they would go back wherever they came from. 

Being a checkout person is stressful.  Any job dealing with “the public” is stressful, especially this time of year. I hear you.

So let’s take a moment for compassion at the counter. You're the counterperson. Consider the challenges of helping customers. Your job is to serve them, to help them find what they need.  In that respect, your job has a spiritual component. If people respected you, you’d have no problem. 

But people can be self-centered and may not seem to care what kind of day their server is having.  That’s where well-being practice can really make a difference, because well-being is an inside job. “Let there be peace on earth and let it begin with me,” goes the old song.  If you can get in touch with your own sense of inner well-being, and stay connected with it no matter what, then you can have a great day no matter what anybody else says or does. 

So, on the job, begin by acknowledging yourself as worthy of respect.  Treat yourself with compassion, and you will find it easier to treat others the way you would like to be treated. Even if they start out being snarky, a little compassion from you and they may change! In therapy we say, model the behavior you would like others to copy. Providing service is definitely an ego-deflating experience, especially when customers don't appreciate the service they’re getting!  Then we get mad, resentments build up and by the end of a day behind the counter, you don’t want to talk to anybody!

Here's a well-being practice to try out: Honor who you are and what you do.  You are a human being worthy of love and respect. You are a professional, providing a service. Doing your job the best you can, no matter what, will affirm and strengthen your self worth and sense of well-being.  Here are some “on the job” tips to help you through the day:

1.     Remember that you have a life and your job is not it.

2.     Your job is one day at a time.

3.     Other people’s problems are other people’s problems. You can assist but not solve.  Do your best, and let go of the rest.

4.     Remember you make a difference in other people’s lives. 

5.     Create an intention of generosity and compassion toward others, based on the fact that we are all human beings, who dream and suffer, grieve and laugh, make mistakes and need forgiveness.

ASK THE THERAPIST takes on the challenge of providing well-being support for everyone who is working with the public this summer on the North Fork!  I offer on the spot support whenever I notice a working person needs an encouraging word…and I encourage all readers of this blog to do the same. Let’s let our friends and neighbors behind the counters know we appreciate the jobs they do! 

Susan Dingle LCSW CASAC provides therapy, counseling and well-being coaching in private practice with adolescents and adults in transition. The office is on the Main Road in Southold. Phone sessions and home visits can also be arranged. For more information or to schedule an appointment, please call 631-734-8658 or email susandingle@optonline.net.