A Reader Responds...

Love the article. Gives a lot to think about. It also tells parents of young children they can actually do something now to protect their kids. I think if we allow our kids to have a voice in the homes even as really young babes, they learn that what they have to say and feel is important. It is much easier to force your kids to do as you think they should and quiet their (sometimes very distracting and time consuming) requests and ideas. But when you take the time to listen and allow them to guide you, it benefits both parties.  For example: allowing them to pick out their own clothes and wear what they feel good in, no matter what it looks like! Easier said then done :) 

I also think kids identify with their parents and the roles they may play. If their mother tends to play the victim role - they may lean more that way. If the father tends to be the bulling type-they may identify with that.  A child may have an innate tendency to be more compassionate to others. And being taught to always give up his/her own needs on top of that may push a child to a more victim role. Bullying i feel like arises from an angrier child whos feelings are not accounted for, and rebels to feel better about him/herself. Just a theory. All very interesting and complex. 

Thanks for the topic!!

This letter is a response to a conversation about bullying initiated by Susan Dingle LCSW CASAC, a therapist on the North Fork providing counseling for tweens, adolescents and adults. She is currently accepting new clients, and can be reached at 631/734-8658.